You are Legend

This is a departure from the usual fabrications, and various other poetic brain children I am accustomed to write. This is a farewell to my beloved 1989 Acura Legend that treated me so well, and that I treated with little to no respect.

Abernathy's Truck Salvage is now the proud owner of my former Legend. In exchange for my car, Mr. Abernathy himself gave me 5 crisp Twenties and a stiff Fifty. This is a far cry from the offer I was given by Carmax.

A couple of days ago my father and I went to sell the Legend to Carmax where we had purchased the car I drive today. I had hopes to sell the car for at least 1 monthly car payment to my father - 75 bucks. When the salesman took my father and me back into his office, he had a look on his face like someone who had accidentally insulted the school bully. He insisted that we sit down, and proceeded to tell us that he didn't normally look at the offer before he let the seller see it. Today must have been different. He had gotten a good glimpse of the car, and I had answered all of his questions about it honestly. Perhaps he had anticipated the price to be low, and in an effort to save himself from the agony of discovering the price at the same time as my father and I, he took a peek. Just before he revealed the price, he informed us that Carmax had "never not bought a car." So, in other words, we could be guaranteed not to see a Goose Egg behind the curtain. Again, reminding us that he was "the messanger" (i.e. don't shoot me) he unveiled the offer...

$5.

That's right, Carmax offered to buy my car from me, to relieve me of my burden, for under two gallons of cheap gas; for a six pack of bitter beer; for a long distance phone call just long enough to say "hello, how are you?"; for a pack of cigarettes. And the worst part about it all...we actually went through with it. It was the hilarity of the situation that made it so enticing. The fact that I would be able to tell my friends, future children/grandchildren that I once sold a car (IN 2008!) for 5 dollars was too much to resist. So we did it. Dad didn't care to stick around for the 5 dollar check, so we virtually gave the car away.

Later that day I saw past the comedy and decided that I could get more than a Biggy Sized Combo Meal for my car. I called Carmax, and I called off the deal. The next day my father and I cut through some red tape, waited in line outside the bureaucracy, and re-obtained my car, for free. I promptly called some Junkyards who were happy to purchase my car for 30x the amount Carmax offered us. Today, I said my actual farewell to the Legend as it puttered off into a field of peers. It is in a better place now. I love you, Legend.